Dancing With the Devil

When I hear the word “dance” my mind immediately goes to ballroom dancing with the guy in a tuxedo and the lady in a beautiful flowing dress.  But when you dance with the devil it is not a beautiful site.  It might start out beautiful in your mind, but by the time you realize you are dancing with the devil instead of an angel, it’s too late.  I think we all know that the “devil” I am speaking of here is evil.  Of course, evil comes in both genders – some devils are men and some are women.  It’s just according to who the devil wants to ruin.

It’s always the same way – as the music is playing and the dancing is being danced, the partner to the devil sees only beauty.  However, those standing around can see the devil for who he/she is and that is pure evil and ugliness.  Some standing around are laughing at the devil’s partner because they can see how the devil is using this partner and what a fool they have become. Some try to break in and take the partner away from the devil, but somehow the devil is able to draw that partner back into his/her arms where the devil takes them further and further, deeper and deeper into the abyss.  Yet, the partner thinks they are going into a happy and beautiful place, all the while friends and family are shouting on the sidelines trying to get the partner to stop and open their eyes, to shed the scales from their eyes.  The problem is the partner does not want to open their eyes, they are having too much fun “now” and don’t want it to stop.  They keep their eyes shut and close their ears to any logical pleadings and so they are left, not realizing it will stop when the devil is finished destroying them and all around them.

Sometimes, before it’s too late, the partner will stop, think and realize that for that bit of happiness they are throwing away great joy.  It’s hard for them to come back, but those that are strong, unafraid, and gutsy will wake up, turn around and run back to the light and away from the devil.  This is not an easy process.  It really does take a lot of fearlessness and no wimpiness.  Turning away from the devil is not for the fainthearted or those who are afraid and tremor when they hear the sound of the devil.  No, those who turn back to the right have to be strong and be ready to face the consequences, no matter what they are.

Consequences are sometimes good and sometimes bad.  When you turn from dancing with the devil you have to pay but have to remember the future consequences are greater and outshine anything gained from staying with the devil, no matter what the devil has to offer.  In fact, there is nothing to be gained by staying with the devil except a few moments of false and misleading, short-lived happiness and long-term anguishing in death.

On the other hand, staying with the devil and continuing to dance will eventually bring nothing but pain and heartache to everyone around you.  It may take a few weeks, a few months, a few years, or a lifetime but it will come.  And if it takes a lifetime then you’ve wasted your lifetime and your best years.  Years that could have been spent in a more sensible and successful way.  However, when the end comes you realize you cannot go back and change anything and you have wasted what was given to you, a life that could have been full and successful, happy and contented.  And for what? A few moments of dancing with the devil – who was beautiful at first but now is so ugly because the scales have dropped from your eyes and you finally see what everybody else saw.  That is what happens when the devil is finished with you – the scales fall from your eyes and you cry out in anguish, realizing you have really screwed up, wishing you could go back! But there is no going back after you pass the point of no return.  You are caught in a web of deceit and lies and have to dance until you can dance no longer and the devil is finished with you.

Yep, dancing with the devil is a dangerous thing in life – I guess we have all danced with some kind of devil now and again and most of us have awakened before it was too late, yet face consequences nonetheless.  It’s when the devil has us so fooled and tricked that we don’t see anything but what the devil wants us to see – that’s the most sad thing of all because it leads to death!  Maybe not physical death but death of our soul, death of our emotions, death of feeling because we can’t feel again, the devil took it all away during the dance.

“At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness.”  Genesis 3:7  –  At that moment it all fell apart and death entered the world. I looked up moment and here are some synonyms:  bat of an eye, nanosecond, split second, flash, instant and crack ,to name of few.  I think crack is appropriate because in a crack, by listening to the devil, death seeped in and that crack allowed everything to fall apart.  When we first listen to the devil, it’s a crack that death can then pour into our lives where it all falls apart.


Closeness and/or Pleasing

It’s been a while since I posted anything – just felt kind of dry and I guess I needed a respite.  Sometimes I just need to take a step back – I’m not sure of all the reasons why but it just seems that way sometimes.

Have you ever thought about what it means to be close to someone?  I like to have people close to me – not necessarily physically but knowing I am on the same page with someone.  I’m a “people pleaser”, which is one of those “good things/bad things.”  Sometimes I am so engrossed in pleasing someone that nothing else matters.

Unfortunately, I guess I have been a people pleaser all my life.  Being an only child I wanted to please my parents and make them proud of me.  Sad thing is that no matter what I did it was never quite enough.  Yet, I still tried.  When I got married (at a young age I might add) I tried to please my husband but he was not one that shared his emotions or thoughts and was pretty much bland, so I never quite knew unless I asked.  Well, asking kind of defeats the purpose with a people pleaser.  We want to be told we have pleased without having to ask.

Then came my first 2 children.  I’m pretty sure I seldom pleased them – I really didn’t get it until I had my third child at the age of 40.  I finally “got” what was important to please a child (or at least I think I did).  It is said being young is wasted on the youth and at my age I can certainly agree with that!  If we could start off with realizing the wisdom it takes to live this life and go from there I think the whole world would be a much better place.

Oh my, think I have strayed from my initial thought I had today and am “all over the place.”  That happens a lot as I start in one place and then find that “rabbit trail” and take a turn to follow it.  Think I’ll just jump off that rabbit trail now and get back to my initial thought.

Today I was reading in my new devotional book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (and I already highly recommend it).  This devotional is quite different than any I’ve read before as it is written as though Jesus was talking directly to you and you just have this special audience with Him, which actually we can have any time we want.

The sentence that “jumped” out for me was, “Concentrate on staying close to Me at all times.”  I need to some how have that tattooed on my hand so I can see it all the time.  I get so anxious sometimes, mostly about pleasing people, that I forget He is always there and wants me to be close to Him – it is not He that strays away from me but me that strays from Him.  He is the One I need to concentrate on pleasing.  I believe if I concentrate on pleasing Him, everything else will fall into place and in the end I will be pleasing those I started out wanting to please in the first place.  And then somewhere along the line I will eventually “find myself” as I have tried to please so many others that I have lost me and forgotten who I am – which is another subject for another day.

I could probably go on and on from here but my objective in writing these “tidbits” was to keep them short and hopefully then they won’t be boring.  I hope my writing today will touch someone and be a blessing to them or cause someone just to stop and think and know who they are and who is important.

ADDENDUM:  As I reread this blog, I realized it really was all over the place and seemed as though It might be a little disjointed to others and so I started to re-write it and make it more grammatically correct.  Then I thought to myself, “Self, if you change this you will be defeating your purpose of trying to be yourself or find yourself.”  So, I think I’ll just leave it with the hopes, as I said, someone will get something or enjoy it.  Otherwise, it’s “therapy” for me.  LOL


With so much “unlove” around I thought to myself, “Well, what is love really.  Is love one thing?  Is love a verb?” I decided to go to the dictionary and find a definition.

First, let’s look at love as a noun.  Webster’s Dictionary defines love as (1) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. (2) a feeling of  warm personal attachment or deep affection as for a parent, child, or friend. [don’t forget, our pets are our best friends]  I have to tell you, it is so very easy to love my grandson as well as my children, my husband, friends, and family.  I am sure those reading this have those that are easy to love as well.  Then we have those co-workers, family, neighbors, bosses, and others I am sure some of you can think of, that are not that easy to love.  There are those that have wronged us in some way that we feel we will never love.

Those that are easy to love, well, what can I say?  They are easy to love!  We “love” being around them, we “love” doing things for them, we “love” being there for them, and on and on.  We love to see smiles on their faces and hear their laughter.

Then, we have those that it takes a little more effort to love.  Some complain about how “hard” their life is, some are negative about everything you talk about, they hardly ever smile, and I won’t name all I can think of.  But, you know you need to love them because you have to be around them from time to time and only “love” would allow you to have the enthusiasm you need to show when you are with them.  You try to encourage them about a problem they are having but to no avail most of the time.  Yea, that’s kind of hard.

However, the next group is the hardest of all to love and we think we just cannot possibly ever forgive or love these people.  Well, I am here to tell you that you do have the power to love them – not talking about the type of affectionate love or fondness type of love as above, but the type of valuing love for them just as a human being.  Yep, God allowed them to be born and live so apparently He has put some kind of value on them so I’m thinking we might do well to do so also.  Have you ever thought about the fact that if you hold a grudge or bitterness towards someone that you are allowing them to control you?  I don’t think anyone likes to be controlled.  They control our thoughts as we think about them, they control our emotions, and as they control our emotions, many times they control our actions.  They control the countenance on our face, they keep us from smiling, and sometimes they cause us to snap and/or be hateful to those we do love.

Did ya ever think about all that?  It took me many years to come to this conclusion about bitterness and “unloving” people.  When you forgive and decide to “value love” people, it’s amazing how freeing that is.  That darkness or heaviness that sometimes comes over us just floats away.  They no longer control you and you find yourself thinking about them less and less and you come to a point that if you do think about them you can just throw that thought out the window with a smile on your face and springtime in your heart.

Of course, God also has quite a bit to say about love and says it much better than I do.  He says “Love is kind…”, “through love serve one another..”, “for love is from God…”, “love casts out fear…”, “God so loved the world He gave his only begotten Son.”, “for love is from God..”, to name just a few.

Of course, all of this is just scratching the surface and you might want to dig a little deeper yourself.  For me, the conclusion is that we need to ask ourselves a question which is “do we really love?” or do we need to work on it.  Well, I don’t know about you but I think I probably need to work on it.

Time Flies

I bet almost everyone has heard someone say “Time sure flies!”  And that is surely true, at least as I get older it sure seems to go by like a jetliner.  I remember as a child, however, that birthdays, Christmas, and summers seemed like they took an awful long time to come around.  Even as a teenager they didn’t seem to come around that often.  However, after I started having children it seemed like somebody stepped on the gas as though they were driving a Nascar race and every time I turned around it was birthday time or Christmas.  Next thing I know it’s time for driver’s license.  What?  Driver’s license!  Yesterday they were just out in the yard on their trikes and bikes.  You look back and it just doesn’t seem possible.

And while you’re looking back enjoying a quick look at those wonderful, sweet, and funny memories, they are graduating college and/or beginning a life of their own, getting married – holy cow!  How did all this happen so fast and while I was just standing here? Now granted, this is the Beaver Cleaver family and mostly how things happen on TV, but sometimes and for some families, it really happens like this.  For others not so yet time does seem to fly for all families.  It just seemed like the best and least complicated example to use for my story.  I mean, there are those families where dad went to the University of Georgia and his son decides to go to Georgia Tech, or maybe worse yet Clemson!  If you’re from Georgia you will truly understand the repercussions from something like that happening!  But that’s possibly another story for another day.

So, you take a breather from it all and think to yourself, “Well Lord, we did a pretty good job.  I’m proud of these kids, they’re great!”  And they are great.  They are starting their own life, working, building on what you’ve taught them “just yesterday.”  Yep, they are great.

And then something happens.  You learn the difference between “great” and “grand.”  You see, it comes along rather slowly – time is standing still again.  The “thing” in and of itself to start with is not huge but the happening – well, let’s just say, “Strike out the band, let loose the balloons, stop the presses, put out a special news release on TV, and let all the bells in all the towers all over the world ring!”  Your “grandchild” was just born and you’ve held him/her in your arms for the very first time.  Yep, now you know why they call them “grand.”  Now you know the difference between great and grand.  And until it happens to you, you really can’t possibly understand.

And the journey begins all over again, watching that little one grow and learn and expand his/her horizons.  Yesterday you were holding them in the hospital and today you are holding them by the hand as you take a walk out in the yard and tomorrow you’ll be watching them walk up to receive their diploma as they graduate from high school.

Yep, time flies alright.  I’ve even heard it said that time stands still for no one.  So my friends, don’t worry about yesterday because there is nothing you can do to change it and don’t worry about tomorrow because you really don’t know what tomorrow might bring.  My best advice is to just take hold of today, enjoy it and make memories because “tomorrow” you’ll be looking back wondering where the time went.

Smiles and Laughter

Have you ever looked at the smiles of other people.  Not just your mama’s, your cousin’s, or Aunt Sally, but people you work with, acquaintances, or strangers in the mall or on the street.  I’m a people watcher so I notice that kind of thing – smiles.  With some folks you have to look real hard to find a smile, it’s one of those that just barely curve up at the corners of the mouth and make you wonder if they are really smiling or just gritting their teeth.  There are sweet smiles, mostly coming from old ladies like me, big smiles coming from children who are excited, and smiles of the romantical kind.  I remember in my earlier days people used to smile at everyone they met on the street, whether they knew them or not.  Of course, I was raised in Georgia and that was pretty much southern etiquette.

Now, in the “study” of smiles, you will notice that one person can have many different kinds of smile. (Of course, that would have to be studying the people you know.  You start following somebody around in the mall trying to watch them and see their different smiles and you might find yourself in jail or, even worse, dealing with Homeland Security!)  Some of the different smiles of folks are of when they are genuinely happy to see you, when they receive a gift, when they take that first sip of coffee in the morning, or their pet decides to join them while they are just chillin’.  I think if someone a whole lot smarter than me were to watch people and take a survey, they might find some kind of connection between a person’s smile and their personality.  Just thinking over the folks I know it seems like those with great big ear to ear smiles are more extrovert than those with the smaller, sweeter type smile.  (Not to say a big ole grin is not sweet, too, but I think you get the picture.)  I did have to take my survey mostly from folks I know as you don’t see many smiles at the mall – not even from behind the counters much anymore.

Now that we have done our “cursory” study of smiles, let’s move on to laughter.  If I’m in the position of waiting for someone in the mall, I like to just sit down and watch people.  Nowadays I don’t see as much laughter as once I did, but it does break out once in awhile, particularly with girls.  Now, you have to break girls down into subcategories (we are quite complicated after all).  You have those in the 5- to 8- or 9-year-old group.  They have that sweet, little, happy giggle of friendship and comradery that leads you to believe they have so many plans for when they get back to their “land,” especially if they are holding a particular new toy in hand.  

Next we have probably my favorite group – the adolescent, or what I call those “silly,  high-pitched giggly over everything and nothing” group.  Just have a group of those young ladies walk through and you can’t help but break out in a smile and even giggles yourself, sometimes.  That is the happiest group of all.  Why, they are not even on the same planet as we are.  And believe me when I tell you, sometimes I wish I was back on that planet again because I actually can remember being their once and when you’re with your friends, why it’s euphoric!

Next, we have the teenagers.  They are quite interesting, rather secretive as when they are with a group as whenever they laugh they cover their mouths slightly most of the time.  I’m not sure why that is other than just being at that self-conscious age.  However, as they are “stalking” as in a pair, you can tell by their eyes they are laughing but there is a full cover of the mouth.  Why?  Again, I don’t know.  This coverage of the mouth phenomena came about sometime after I was a teen so I am not privy to the explanation of said coverage.

After those teen years I noticed there are no more giggles and very little laughter.  Why?  I think folks just take themselves way to serious.  Hey, this is life and you only get to live it once so you might as well laugh, be funny or even silly.  After all, in 100 years who is going to remember what stupid thing you did in the mall in 2016?

They guys, well, let’s just say most don’t laugh in public, especially from that early age of 8 or 9 until 18 or so.  It’s just not done.  Even in those middle 20’s until retirement you don’t see guys laughing much at all.  There must be some kind of “guy etiquette” here that I am not privy to, being a woman.  Of course I am talking about mall watching and most guys don’t like to shop so it would make sense that they find nothing to laugh about in the mall as they have mostly been dragged there anyway.   I know they do laugh, however, because I’ve heard them when they are playing cards, playing pool, playing football or eating something they really enjoy.  They bring out their big ole guffaw, roaring, deep laugh.  Wait a minute, hold the presses!  I may have stumbled onto something here.  Guys really only laugh when they are playing or eating.

Of course, when you reach the retirement age group we are pretty much allowed to say or do whatever we please, laugh out loud and have fun as we have lived long enough that we’ve earned that right.  Have you ever seen the smile or heard the laughter of someone who has lived to be 100-years-old?  I have only seen that and heard it from a news report on TV but even from the TV, the smile was golden and the laughter sounded like the chiming of silver bells from heaven – the most beautiful smile and wonderful sounding laugh of all.

Oops to Blessings

Yesterday as I was feverishly working on a quilt for my daughter’s best friend (she’s like a second daughter, actually) I was just slicing and dicing some material for the “sashes” (that’s like a frame around a block) and thinking to myself that  I had finally figured out how to figure out how much material this particular part of the project would take (believe me, I don’t do Math with a capital I DON’T DO MATH).  So, after getting all my pieces cut, I sat down to my machine to start putting the blocks to the sashes to make my rows.  This time, the part of the sash that runs below the blocks would be one straight piece of material 2 inches wide by the width of the quilt and I wouldn’t need to match any seams.  Perfect, right?  No, again I didn’t do the match right and cut too many pieces the size of my square and I don’t have enough material to go back and cut the nice long piece that will be a lot less taxing to attach because of not having to match seams.  I was so discouraged.  I couldn’t believe it.  Here I sit with all these 10 x 2 inch pieces and I need one long piece 24 x 2 inches.  I was about ready to cry because I didn’t want to make a trip to the craft store this morning and besides, I hardly think they would have material to match what I’ve already sewn on to the sides of my squares, so what was I to do.  Think, think, think.  Getting a different color that would blend wouldn’t look right.  Taking out the other would take until probably after the weekend and I think taking out that much might just stretch the blocks, anyway.  Think, think, think.  Got it!  Get into my stash of material and take out tone-on-tone pieces of the other color that she is using for the nursery and make 2-inch squares to go between the 2 x 10-inch sashing pieces to make what I call the “underling” sashing.  (I had already used two of her colors, one for the solid block and one for the sashing.)  In other words, I would have a 2-inch square, a 10 x 2-inch piece, a 2-inch square, a 10 x 2-inch piece, etc., to go under my already sewn rows.  All of the 2-inch squares won’t be just alike but that is actually the beauty of it. I am so excited to get started this morning.  This quilt is going to be even more cute than I first imagined (I have yet to make a quilt by any particular pattern – I just start thinking and go from there).  I’ll take a picture and post it after it is finished.

Life is like that sometimes.  We head in one direction but forces beyond our control pop up and so we head out in another direction.  For instance, my husband and I were on vacation several years back and had about a day extra left (thank goodness) and we were talking and took a wrong turn on the Interstate and saw we were headed for Nashville, Tennessee!  We could have gotten off, turned around, and gotten back on our original trail, but decided to keep on this trail and head for Nashville.  Well, the Country Music Hall of Fame had not been opened very long.  I had seen reports of it on the news and entertainment shows and was thinking in my heart that I sure would like to go, never thinking in a million years it would ever happen.  Well, here we were, going to the Country Music Hall of Fame!!  I was so excited, like a kid going to their first fair (I guess today that would be akin to “amusement” park).  Anyway, we went to the Hall of Fame first.  They had about 3 or 4 floors of so much stuff from stars like Elvis’s gold car, Hank Williams’ guitar, suits, Johnny Cash’s black coat, one of Minnie Pearl’s hats (you younguns won’t remember her but you oughta google her – she was one of the greats), and I don’t know what all.  You cannot imagine how many pictures I took.  Oh, and they had performer’s gold and platinum records all over the walls. My husband is a hockey fan and it was a plus for us to get to see the outside of the Nashville Predator’s stadium.  It is right next door to the Hall of Fame.  We went to the Grand Ole Opry and stood right on the “circle” where everybody that performs stands – I mean, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, George Jones, Tammy Wynette, and so many more, including the stars of today, have stood.  Words could not explain how I felt to stand there.  I still can’t explain how I felt.  It meant so much to me.  (I was so happy to hear they were able to save that circle when Nashville had that flood a few years back.)  They had this cool restaurant (a little on the pricey side) but there were huge fish tanks that made up the walls, floor to ceiling, so you got to sit next to the tanks and watch the fish.  That was fun, too.

I guess what all this rolls around to say is, sometimes those seemingly “mistakes” in life or wrong turns, may just end up being a huge blessing so don’t miss out – think before you turn around and make sure you’re not about to miss out on something really big!

Three Things

Have you ever been asked the question, “If you were stranded on an island, what 3 things would you want?” (No electronics.)  Not people, mind you, but things.  Of course, hopefully, this is just a “mind” exercise and none of you ever get stranded – even on the side of the road.  I’ve thought about this particular question before and I guess there are several different approaches we can take here but to me it mostly boils down to “mind, body, and soul.”

Let’s attack “mind” first – I might lose mine before I can get to the rest so the sooner the better.  What does my mind need – I’m talking personally, now, not what you think the world thinks, your parents would think, your partner thinks, but this is just you.  Just to be “undisguised” as it were. I’ll be right upfront and let you know this probably is the hardest one of the 3 for me.  I don’t read books by brilliant and intellectual people – though to me anyone who can get their book published is brilliant!  I guess I could go on and on here telling you of all the “mind” things I don’t do but I won’t bore you – you have your own.  Personally, “mind” things for me would involve sewing, particularly quilting.  (Let me tell you, it does take a certain amount of thinking to put together a quilt start to finish and that is for another day!)  I love looking at books with pictures and stories behind old quilts. And there are many. Lots and lots of quilt patterns have stories behind them.  Of course, it takes me back to grandmama’s house which was filled with quilts.  Nothing fancy, just mostly squares or triangles put together and some material from flour sacks.  My cousin and I would sit on “our” bed and pick out different material that we would want a dress made from. So, number one would be a historical and pictorial book about quilts.

Number 2 would be something for my body, mmm.  This is hard for me because I don’t do camping and such.  Roughing it for me is not having a remote for the TV – I’m serious.  Doesn’t have to be fancy but inside away from the elements, including bugs and such.  (I would not do well on Survivor.)  So, I guess my next thing could be some kind of hut.  Mind you, we are stranded and while a mansion with an outdoor and indoor pool, etc., etc., would be wonderful, that is not the kind of exercise we are doing here – that would be for another day as well.  So yea, a place to be away from all the elements (I include crawly, flying, slimy, kind of things as elements) would be my “body” thing I think.

Next is easy.  For my soul would be my Bible.  Not only are there wonderful and wise truths there, I find there are some really interesting stories, as well, that are quite entertaining.  Some funny, some sad, some drama, and so on.  For instance in the Old Testament in Genesis you read how a beautiful coat caused a boy a lot of grief but God made all that good.  In Esther you’ll find how Haaman got his comeuppance.  That was so cool how God worked all that around.  Now, in Judges you’ll find some kind of gross stuff like the gal who drove a spike through this guy’s head – ghastly. Of course most of you have probably heard about David slaying Goliath but to read how all that happened is pretty interesting.  For all you romance buffs like me, there is a love story in Ruth.  In the New Testament there is Saul and how his name was changed to Paul and while on his way to prison later he was shipwrecked on an island and stuck his hand down and grabbed a viper and was not bitten or harmed in any way.  Oh yea, Paul had lots of adventures.  Back to the Old Testament, in Psalms I always find comfort, wisdom, peace, harmony, confidence and so much more.  To read about just these things and not counting the countless more things God has in the Bible would take a lifetime so I think the Bible would keep me company and busy.

Well, what do you think?  Did you play along with me?  There really are no right or wrong answers because it’s all personal.  As people are different so would be the answers.  I guess it was kind of an exercise that actually brings me back and makes me remember how much I have to be grateful for, though.

Who Am I, Anyway

Have you ever set back and wondered, “Who am I?”  I mean, really thought about who you are.  Not what you do, not the “mom/pop” person you are, not the neighbor you are – do you get the idea?  Who you are inside.  Are you a ballerina (something I wanted to  be as a child and each time I see a ballet I see myself up there); could it be an astronaut or maybe a rock star.  It’s kind of like starting with those dreams we dreamed as a child, then those have to be put aside as we grew older and our responsibilities grew out in different ways like the roots of an oak tree spreading out.  We were always somebody inside.  If our dreams came true and we were able to achieve those dreams we dreamed as a child then wonderful!  But, is it what you thought it would be?  Of course not!  We never thought about the work, just the “glorious” part of “being” whatever.  I guess that’s part of maturing.  If we knew what it would take to accomplish those dreams and the work it took to continue then we’d probably not dream at all and that would be a waste because as a child, dreams are wonderful.

Okay, back to the original question – who am I?  To be truthful, I am an older woman and I really don’t know who I am.  It seems I am a “pleaser” and so I am whoever the person in need, needs.  Not that being a “pleaser” is totally a bad thing, mind you.  So, I am many people – a mother, grandmother, wife, friend, and neighbor at this point in time.  Probably would have added more in my younger days like teacher, child, transcriptionist, co-worker to name a few.  But I’ve always wondered “who am I”?  I once told a doctor I felt like I had lost myself.  He said not to worry, we’d find “me”.  I’m still looking.  To tell you the truth, I am hoping and praying I will find my deep inner real self in having this blog.  Oh – don’t misunderstand me, I enjoy being all of those things mentioned above.  I am truly blessed to be able to wear those “hats!”  It may be that I am somewhat a Type A personality and as I look at life I put everything into a cubby hole (like I have one for restaurants, likes, children, husband) – you get the picture.  I’m sorry if it all seems so confusing.  Those are not really good names for some of my cubby holes and I don’t think some really have names, just things/people, etc., that are alike in some way or another go into one.  But I can’t find one for me.   Maybe we can’t pinpoint ourselves down to just one thing.  Maybe that’s it – we are who we are needed to be.  I guess when nobody needs me at the moment when I’m alone, I can be whomever or whatever I want to be.  Like be a gamer and play a video game, or be a cook and cook something fabulous, or be a quilter and make an award winning quilt!  Mmmm – I guess as I have written all f this out and look at it and think of it, I have answered my question.  As we get older, we do become more like our “child selves” and can kind of be what we want to be at this point in our lives – or close to it.

So, like so many things, it makes that round and comes back full circle!  On the “inside” we are basically who we started out as but only, hopefully, grew wiser but on the outside, the sky is the limit.  I can be whatever I want to be or whomever I want to be on any given day (just keeping within the bounds of reality which is the sad part).  So, ask me who am I right now – I am a Christian woman who loves the Lord with all her heart on the inside and is a blogger on the outside that actually wants to spread encouragement to others – sort of like paying it forward but only in words. So, here I gooooooo – out to Neverland to be me!!!!

IMG_0036 Of course I do need my coffee and muffin before I start this big journey! 🙂


Eyes and Lamps

Have you ever really thought about your eyes?  I mean really thought about them.  I guess this is a pretty odd topic this morning but it was what first popped into my brain this morning – my brain,  another discussion for another day.  I guess what made me think of eyes is I thought of the eyes of our grandson and how precious they are, especially when they light up and he smiles when he sees you.  There is just nothing like it in the whole world.  Your dog as he greets you when you first get home comes very close. 🙂 I was wondering what does he see in me.  What will he see in me.  What do I want him to see in me.  Well, as for the first two, if I live long enough, when he is old enough to understand what it means and I’m talking about, I might ask him.  As for the third one, what do I want him to see in me, well that is something to ponder about.  I surely don’t want him to see just an old woman all crooked with arthritis, losing her hair, half deaf, can’t walk, and probably a funny voice.  (Eww – even I don’t want to see me like that!) No, I want him to see something different.  But what is that something – now that’s a thing to set out on the deck sipping lemonade  with Buddy at my side, looking out to nowhere and think on.  So, here we go, pondering and wondering.

I guess the first thing, at least as I’m pondering it today, that I want him to think about me is that I am a kind and loving Godly woman who has a big heart full of love and laughter.  Love and laughter – I’m thinking those are pretty important.  Children see a plenty of unloving, mean-spirited, hateful, cold, cruel – well, you get the picture – people in the world today whether in the check-out line at the grocery store or on TV.  I want our home to be like a sanctuary away from all of that. A place to make memories like I did so when you’re older and think on it then it brings a smile to your face no matter what.  A place for him to come and be himself and relax and enjoy life.  That was how it was at my Grandmama’s and Grandaddy’s house.  It was like a sanctuary where the cares of my childhood life  were swept away by my Grandmama’s smile and Grandaddy’s laugh. (Little did I know then they were not really all that tough but I guess to a kid maybe they were.  By the way, we should never put down a child’s cares and make them think they are nothing.  If they are something to a child well, then they are important.)  My biggest problem while visiting them was Grandmama’s blackberry preserves leaking out of my biscuit and trying to lick it off my hand because it was so good I wanted none to go to waste!  Or my cousin and I designing our town on the sandy front walkway and waking up the next morning finding a dog or cat or something had walked right through it like Godzilla on Japan so it all had to be fixed. (they had sand brought in and it was like a huge sandbox for us only it was the front entrance.)  Yea, that’s what I want for Jason.  Too many children today don’t have that.

I guess another thing would be that I’m fun and always have time to play!  I want to make a tent in the family room and “camp out”!  I want to go to the library and pick out books so we can come home and spend an afternoon reading and talking and laughing while we sip on sweet tea and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with Cheeetos.  Warming under quilts after making a snowman while sipping on hot cocoa and whipped cream, eating cookies, and laughing about our snowball fight!  Staying up late and watching Disney’s Peter Pan, Robin Hood, and Jungle Book (I think he will still enjoy those even though they will seem outdated for some.)

I guess it boils down to being a lamp for him to lighten his path on those dark days as he becomes a teen, too. (Praying I live that long.)  I pray I can impart some wisdom on to him, things he can take with him throughout his life that will help him as he comes up against those hard times – everybody has them for sure.  Things I have learned along the way.  That joy comes in the morning and with God’s help you can make it through the dark night to see the sunrise in the morning – there always is one  – and you can take that to the bank!

Peace – ahh sweet peace!

Being my first post, I thought it would be nice to write about something probably on everybody’s mind these days – peace!

Have you ever noticed how peaceful your pet sleeps by your side.  Just watch for a moment.  I’m not sure there is another peace on earth much like that. (Well, except when they are running after something in their sleep – now that’s funny!)  But, I digress.  Just watching Buddy, my Chi, calms things down for me when I really concentrate on him.  People all around use all different kinds of tools for bringing peace into their lives.  Lots of people use meditations, and that’s wonderful.  For me, however, my mind just won’t stop long enough and races from one project to the next like Kyle Bush racing around that track to win the Sprint Cup!  I’m sure lots of people can train their minds to stop for meditation, but I’m just not sure I want to do that.  I love watching Buddy and I’m afraid my creativity for quilts and other things will get lost in the stillness of it all.  And that’s the thing – I’ve thought of many beautiful quilts through just “thinking.”

This is my first post and I do realize I am rambling but my mind is putting things out there and I want to “say” it – it’s really like talking you know.

Anyway, and I sure hope I don’t lose some of you here because that would be a shame for the both of us as we would not get to know one another as well and I like to know lots of people from different places and cultures.  So, here we go – I make no apologies, however.  I am a Christian and have been for many years.  I sure have learned a LOT through the years, I can tell you that.  I used to be one of those hard-nose type but not any more.  I try not to take things out of context from the Bible and just let the Bible speak for Itself as I hold the Bible as my truth.  And I don’t judge – that is not for me to do.  There is much in the Bible I don’t understand and so I really don’t like to throw out a lot of doctrinal things.  I just like to give out the things that cause me to think about peace, happiness, kindness, love, etc.  So, if you are ever offended it was not intentional or directed.  Just something in my thoughts that particular day – like “Peace” is today.

Anyway, the most and best peace I derive when my depressed state allows is from the Bible.  For instance, Psalm 46 – “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea.”  There is a lot more in that chapter if you want to read it but it is sort of my “go to” chapter.  When I see the word “refuge” it reminds me of my grandmother’s and granddaddy’s home that I used to visit as a child.  I lived in Atlanta, they lived in a very small town, Woodville, about 2 hours away.  It was like the world stopped and everything was just as it should be.  Biscuits and homemade preserves for breakfast, fried chicken for supper, sleeping under quilts at night after catching fireflies in a jar, walks with grandaddy to the little store and buying candy from money my parents had given me and getting all the kinds they would never let me get when I was at home, and walking to church on Sunday – I could go on and on, but that is the place I think of when I see the word “refuge.”  Maybe I should be thinking about heaven and all, but I don’t know what heaven really looks like – I’ve never touched and felt it like I have granddmama’s and granddaddy’s.

Gosh, this went WAY longer than I intended and I apologize for that.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll really talk about my visits to grandmama’s and grandaddy’s.  I love to share about those times.

P.S.  I’m just learning this blogging thing so forgive me for how my page looks, etc.  Hopefully I’ll get those widgets and all, straightened out some day.  Thanks.