Trust

I read a quote that said something like one lie puts doubt on anything else said.  I agree. Lying to someone, especially someone you love, or are supposed to love, is just so very hurtful.  I know. It has happened to me.  It hurts – some days or nights more than others.  But, in all of this tragedy I have found a new hope.  I have come back to God and realized He never lies, He always loves me no matter what I do, He protects me – He is my all in all Savior.  Why would I ever wander away from something so special and loving and just plain wonderful as a close relationship with God?

Well, I think the answer lies in the words “focus”  and “lies.” When we focus on something then that thing is what we want more and more each time we look at it, whether physically look such as yearning for something or emotionally such as when we focus on another person.  I know about that first hand as well,  I did that.  Focused on someone when I should have been focusing on the Lord.  I thought I was focusing on the Lord as well.  Funny how Satan worms his way through our lives and mixes things all up, twists and turns things, and the next thing you know, you are convincing yourself that up is down and down is up, that wrong is right and right is wrong!  Yea, been there and done that, as well.  So then come the lies.  First there are the lies to yourself about what you are doing and that it is okay.  Then, there are the lies to the one you are hurting as well as others all around you.  Everything is great.  You’re happy, happier than you’ve been in years and years.  So what is so wrong with that?  Why can’t we grab a little happiness in this life?  After all, we work hard, read our Bible, we deserve a little happiness.  Yea, been there and done that, too.

What’s wrong is that anything that goes against the Word of God is flat out wrong – no questions, no arguing, it’s wrong.  And He will let us go along as we get further and further away from him.  Oh there is the occasional Bible reading or reading a devotional book for a couple of days but not like it used to be.  We are getting farther and farther away until the next thing we know nearly everything we do is just not according to God’s plan for us.  Finally, after awhile when we don’t “straighten up” He gives us a nudge.  Now sometimes the nudges are light touches, like when something like “You need to be reading your Bible” just pops in our brain out of nowhere.  No, not out of nowhere, that’s God’s nudge.  And when those light touches don’t work then it seems like He really goes to work and everything we had fallen into doing and enjoying starts to fall apart.  Relationships fall apart.  Our emotions fall apart, even to the point of severe depression and thoughts of suicide.  We keep struggling to get back what we lost but we are struggling to get back the wrong thing.  We struggle to get back that which started this whole downhill spiral that so saddened God.  We try and plan and struggle and do all we can to get it back.  Alas, sometimes it can’t be gotten back, like when Camelot fell – there was no getting it back like it was. And even if you are able to patch things and make them look like they were, I’m sadly to say that you can ever go back. You can look back and learn from your mistakes.  You can even start anew but what was is gone never to be again.   And that all started with a lie.

What God wanted us to start focusing on was Himself and His Word.  That was the point of it all.  Some of us are just slower than others and I think I’m one of those slower ones.  But I finally got it.  I finally realized you can’t go back and you can’t patch it.  You just have to leave that behind and start anew and see what God has for you in the future, but all the while focusing on Him and HIs Word.  As I started with my morning devotions again – whenever I finally realized I needed to clean my glasses and focus on God – more and more God spoke to me.  I read the Bible more.  I love studying it again. It’s all coming back now, the way it was when God and I were so close.  I realized how much I have missed him. But it wasn’t him that stepped away, it was me.  God is always there right where He says He will be.  It is us that walk away, sometimes just tiptoeing along, picking daisies and not ever realizing we are getting further and further away from God as Satan calls us along to pick more daisies. I’m sad to say, however, those daisies are beautiful for awhile but they do wilt and die.  I know – been there done that.

All of the pain started with a lie. Just one little lie. And that lie grew bigger and bigger.  Then another lie similar that crushes the heart.  If you really think hard, what started all of this treacherous behavior in the first place?  Where did we learn to lie so good?  If we will go back to the beginning, Genesis, we read where Satan lied to Eve and deceived her.  Then she blamed Adam then Adam blamed the serpent and around and around we go, lying to ourselves, being deceived again as Satan keeps it going.  When we finally stand up to Satan and stop all of this foolishness, our hearts break for all we have lost.  For the years we could have been drawing closer to God and serving Him are lost.  The people we might have introduced to Christ, opportunities are gone.  All that happiness we thought we had all of a sudden isn’t so happy.  We have to pay the piper, so to speak.  We have consequences to all we do, good or bad, and in this case it’s the bad.  Most often those consequences are very hurtful and hard to go through.  But, when we finally break through to walk with God again, that’s when we find true joy and happiness.  The world cannot give us lasting happiness.  Using lies cannot bring us happiness.  Only God can bring us happiness.

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